We interrupt this broadcast........

I wanted to title this one fingerprints but I hated to break the continuity. So... There are fingerprints all over my computer screen. They've been there for about a year and sometimes make reading difficult. Today I read t i g h t as t r g h t simply because a fingerprint added something to that i. I considered, for the thousandth time, wiping them off. I just can't do it though. They are Gwyndolyn's fingerprints from our favorite website. She loved Elmo's site. We would pick out hats to put on Elmo and then pick out which adornments the hat would get. She would point to the images she wanted and in doing so leave a wet print. I don't have to call up the site to tell you where the blue hat was, or the duckies quacking on the brim because I can look at my screen and see their faint reminder. Fingerprints on the screen, fingerprints on my heart.
She's growing up and changing now, a whole different child than the one who sat on my lap and played peek a boo with Elmo. I doubt she even remembers doing it. I keep this little photo album in my head. Cause I'm a 21st century kind of gal, my photo album includes movie clips. In my head, she'll always be 18 months to 3 years. Such a sweet child, I miss her lots. Come April I expect to be with her again. Yippie!

I used to hate talking on the phone

I've always thought talking on a telephone was akin to getting a root canal. A necessary evil. Even as a teenager when my peers would call and want to "just talk" for hours at a time I was disgusted and ready to end the call a few minutes into it. I've gotten better over the years, mainly because I keep moving around and the phone turned into a life line home. My Mother was house bound for over ten years caring for my invalid Father. She used to love to travel and would have happily spent her retirement on the road. But with Popi-Da confined to a bed, she sat in a chair by his side for many years. So I would call her from all the different places and let her listen to the surrounding sounds. Hey Mom, I'm on Fremont Street in Las Vegas! Hey Mom, listen to the ocean waves here in Florida! Hey Mom, I'm on top of the Empire State building! Hey Mom, I'm on top of the Eiffel Tower! (note to other cell phone users.... there is no signal this high off the ground. I called her, but it wouldn't connect until I was at a much lower level) I've called her from the Louvre, the cathedral of the Black Madonna in Spain, the ruins of Pompeii. I've called her from Arizona to listen to the mockingbirds singing. I called from the Grand Canyon. It was my way of taking her with me and she always loved hearing it.
I have a couple of people I can talk to on the phone for a bit. I do get antsy and nervous though and tend to prattle on about nothing. I can't stand the empty air sound on a phone. I always feel like I'm paying to talk on this thing so I'd best get to talking. I'm afraid my phone mates don't get much talking done as I tend to, well, dominate the conversation.
But yesterday I talked to Gwyndolyn on the phone! I didn't see the lightening, I didn't hear the thunder, the ground didn't move, but she talked to me! Oh happy day. Many have tried and all have failed. She holds the phone to the side of her head totally mute. She'll pick up a toy cell phone and walk around babbling into it, waving her hands for emphasis. She'll pick up a stuffed mouse and hold it to her ear imitating a telephone. Put the real thing in her hands though and she is not interested. It's an interesting phenomenon that parents everywhere have commented on. I told her I love her, I asked if she was playing at Ahnnie's house. (Onny? Nonny? We have to invent spelling but it's her name for me) The next thing I know she is babbling away. Gobble de gook house Gobble de gook school. Bye. I wonder if a person can die of happiness. My heart was full unto bursting. What a wonderful way to die, I was so happy my heart burst. Gwyndolyn talked to ME. Me me me me, she loves me. I knew that even before the phone call and I'm sure not making it a prerequisite to conversation, but oh how delightful. I don't think my feet have touched ground in 2 days. This is better than winning the lottery. Or maybe it is exactly like it. For the rest of my life, no matter how terrible things might go, she talked to me on the phone first.
I have another epiphany moment I use as a sort of mantra. It happened years ago when I sat in the doorway of an airplane watching the checkerboard countryside glide by below. I knew in that moment that I was going to jump and that no matter how tough things got for me, and it was bound to be tough, I could overcome anything. I faced down that fear and jumped out of the plane. Many times over the years I had to revisit that moment in my head when I needed a little extra boost of courage.
My new epiphany has nothing to do with overcoming fear, or courage or really action on my part. It's being deserving of love from such a magnificient creature God put in our lives. I did nothing to earn it, I'm without a doubt undeserving of it. I am also eternally grateful to have it. When she would lean her body against my leg and gaze solemnly at my face with love and security I wished everyone in the world could feel that moment at some time in their lives. How can anyone be the recipient of a child's love then turn around and do evil? It's a quandary I admit.
I'm rambling here so I shall quit. Just know this. One of the happiest things in my life is that I love Gwyndolyn and she loves me. It don't get any better than this folks.

Murry, Joe and MyJohn

There is a Christian Mission in Elim Poland that is supported by a women's group in Heidelberg Germany. I've seen pictures of the mission and the nearby orphanage they serve. It makes me wish I could do more for them. It makes me wish I had followed this path when I was younger instead of the more traditional American way of life in which I failed so miserably. But, I digress.
I was amazed to find European people suffering and starving. I thought South America, India and Africa had sort of cornered the market. I don't believe I'm being elietst, I've never seen or heard of any mission work in Europe other than Russia. Just shows to go ya I've led a sheltered life. One of the women in Heidelberg had a sewing pattern for the entire Nativity scene. From baby Jesus right through to Camel's and donkeys. They're done in wool which looks perfect on them. I suspect it's all they have and not something done by design. When the Elim women got started making the figures none of them had ever operated a sewing machine. No one had money for them. They lived in concrete block house's no bigger than my living room. But they learned, and have been able to better their lot in life through these stuffed dolls. One woman proudly displays a small cook stove sitting under an electric light bulb. All items bought with her earning. Each woman learns one figure. They have created a little co-operative where they put together the finished ones.
Karen, my friend and Gwyndolyn's Mom, purchased one of the Nativity sets last year at a Bazaar in Heidelberg. We set it up in the living room on the coffee table (the one that looks like a coffin) Gary's StepDad made. Karen put out Mary, Joseph and the donkey first. Gwyndolyn liked them, but wasn't much interested in playing with them. We told her the dolls were named Mary & Joseph. Her 2 year old interpretation of that was Murry & Josie. I told her if she was going to call Mary "Murry" she might as well call Joseph "Joe" and for once she listened to me and that's what she did. Karen was concerned some of her more righteous friends would object to the Holy Family going by Murry and Joe, but I told her just tell them it's my fault. They'll accept that.
The big surprise came when one of the shepards came out of the box to join the set. Gwyndolyn snatched it up immediately pronouncing it was "myJohn". She flipped the shepard upside down so his staff or crook was pointed to the ground. She chewed on the end of it a bit, she even sang some garbled baby talk into it. Then she tucked "myJohn" under her arm and went out of the room chattering happily. She did eventually allow him to join Murry & Joe in the coffee table tableau. What made this so interesting to me was that she hadn't seen John for 3 months!
The first time she met John she was younger and more skittish. In an attempt to win her over he rolled the tip of his cane towards her thinking she would want to play. Instead, she cried and wouldn't even look in his direction. She didn't warm up to him until near the end of the trip, much to his dismay. The next time she saw him, she greeted him like an old friend. Practically jumped in his arms at the door. The two of them were inseparable the entire two weeks he was there. The same goes for his last trip, in which she happily snuggled down in his arms to nap, talked to him for hours, played games with him (Aztec sacrifice being a favorite) and in general staked her territory on him. But 3 months is a long time in a childs life. I didn't expect her to remember him as well as she did. Murry, Joe and My John. He use's a white cane to navigate around things. Gwyndolyn hated the cane the first visit, but by the 3rd visit she would often pick it up and walk with it. The shepard she picked had a raised staff he held towards the front of his body. I'm sure that is what connected for her. I sure got a smile when it happened. I related the story to John later and he too enjoyed it. I find that I think of him a lot as My John. It flows from the lips as smooth as silk. Thanks Gwyndolyn.
MyJohn loves babies and for the most part they love him. Gwyndolyn and he grew to be "thick as theives". In Florida he laid on the floor so the twin babies could crawl all over him. He wagged his tongue at them. He tickled their tummies, he steadied them as they crawled over the top of him on their way to a toy or food. It's official, MyJohn loves babies. I think that's cool cause I love them too.